Hugsville has written a total of 14 reviews with an average rating of 5. Hugsville particularly liked Se7en (1995).
We are ordering by .
Excision (2012) - 3/10
Whoever thought up Excision basically had one idea for what they wanted in the film and we get that event in the last 20 minutes. The preceding hour is just an attempt to fill in time with random shit, dream sequences and family disputes that have ultimately no bearing on or connection to the finale.
Absentia (2011) - 6/10
Katie Parker, who the fuck is she? I dunno but I'd bang her. Well from the waist up perhaps, she's got some pretty chunky thighs. Anyway, Absentia is the film that is going to make her famous enough to lipo the shit out of those badboys and then the world will fancy her. So form an orderly queue behind me, I'm the first rat up that drainpipe.
Se7en (1995) - 10/10
I feel like a right fucking tit. Call myself a film fan and it's taken me seventeen years to watch Se7en, possibly the best film I've ever seen. How I managed to avoid any spoilers in all that time, I don't know, but I'm still a prick.
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011) - 8/10
Tim Burton ripped the heart out of the Planet of the Apes franchise with his pile of shit, this gets it back on track. In my opinion there hasn't been a decent sequel, prequel or remake of the original Planet of the Apes, but this is the first one to really have me wanting more. I loved it.
Up In The Air (2009) - 6/10
Cowardly fuckers turn to Mr. Clooney to fire their employees for them. The Movie was fine, the thought that this type of job may exist was not. If this is an actual job anywhere, you can bet your life it only happens in America....and possibly France; Anywhere else would either treat people with more dignity, trade them for a goat or simply shoot them.
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) - 7/10
I remember my Grandad would regale me with the same old story, that got further from the truth with each telling, yet vaguely resembled the original enough to know that I'd heard it before. Well that's basically what this is, except it didn't end with someone pissing up my back.
Prometheus (2012) - 4/10
If you want to spend your money on something that contains as many holes as this, buy some cheese. It will save you the best part of a tenner and leave a far better taste in your mouth afterwards. I was so utterly disappointed and angered by this film that it's taken me this long to finally review it without simply blowing all 500 characters on the word FUUUUUUUUUCK!
This Means War (2012) - 5/10
Not enough action to satisfy action fans, not funny enough for comedy lovers and not enough heart tugging romance to get the missus juicy. That said, even though it fails to impregnate any of the genres it's flirting with, it is surprisingly watchable.
Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies (2012) - 1/10
There was a fly on the window this morning. I watched it amble around looking for a way through the glass. At one point it flew off but soon returned to continue its search for freedom. After several minutes mesmerized by the fly, who by now I had named Boris, I thought about opening the window to let him out. As I leaned over to open the window I was overcome by a natural animal instinct and squashed the fucker instead. What remained on the window resembled the quality of this movie.
The Roommate (2011) - 3/10
One Point for the cute kitten, One for the lesbian kiss and a final one for the gaggle of hot chicks. If you like your films with the acting talent of an infant school play and the predictability of the Scottish Premier League then this is a must see. For any sane member of society, avoid at all costs!
Chalet Girl (2011) - 2/10
I once spent 93 minutes trying to fellate myself on the couch. Despite being unsuccessful I still consider it better time spent than watching this piece of shit.
Cleanskin (2012) - 7/10
The main story details the transformation of a decent, westernised Muslim into a gun wielding, bomb wearing terrorist. A decent British film where Sean Bean is the shining star eclipsed only by the best head shot I've seen on screen and Tuppence Middleton's tits.
Seven Pounds (2008) - 7/10
Will Smith's about to commit suicide. Not a happy start to a film, but one I've been dreaming of it since he killed his dog in "I am Legend", karma will be restored. You can't say much without giving the game away, but watch it with an open mind, if you dissect it too much the holes in the plot will leap out at you and you'll work out the ending before the films really begun. I enjoyed this film, but it left the wife angry and ready to knock "Seven Pounds" out of me for making her watch it.
Duplicity (2009) - 3/10
Take 1 Clive Owen, blend in with a "past sell by date" actress (Julia Roberts), add several ounces of dialogue with less than a pinch of action. Bake until totally confused for around 2 hours. Alternatively, stick this in the bin and go and have a shit instead it won't stink as much as this film, will likely be more enjoyable and won't waste so much of your life.