Funny film reviews written by you!

Amy (2015) - 7/10

This is the story of how a troubled girl gets thrust into the limelight much too quickly, before she was anywhere near ready, and how she then fell in with the wrong crowd. The wrong crowd being her boyfriend and eventual husband Blake. He really is a piece of shit and I hope he gets the most severe form of arsehole cancer. He introduced her to drugs which, along with the years of abuse her body suffered from bulimia and alcohol abuse, ultimately killed her at just 27. And what a loss to the world it was because she was immensely talented. All in all, a very sad story.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, September 23, 2021 / imdb / amazon

The Broken Circle Breakdown (2012) - 6/10

You have to be very careful about who you have kids with. We all mostly know that before we do it but still many of us get it wrong. This film is all about that. It's about how people change as they grow up and about how the death of a child can change someone beyond measure, and how often it's the parents' relationship that is mostly tested. And sometimes, ultimately, it fails. It's a sad story but one that would usually be right up my alley. For some reason this one didn't hit the sweet spot for me and I can't exactly put my finger on why. If misery is your thing, you may want to give it a go; otherwise, maybe don't bother. The soundtrack is a belter though and is the best thing about the film.

Posted by Mike on Friday, September 17, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Stillwater (2021) - 6/10

Spent most of this film fairly distracted for the following two reasons. Firstly, the main actress looked a lot like someone and I couldn't decide who. It's either a local newsreader or my mate's wife. Decided it was a slightly-more-attactive-than-either mixture of the two. Secondly, Abigail Breslin - whom for years has been cast as the little kid in absolutely everything - has now grown up and is fairly good looking. This didn't sit well with me because I remember her mostly for being a child and now, all of a sudden, my dick has an opinion of her - and of her tits - which just seemed wrong. Still, it was entertaining enough. Matt Damon plays the emotionally useless dad role perfectly too.

Posted by Mike on Friday, August 13, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Winter Sleep (2014) - 4/10

This is a fucking long ass film. At one point I stopped it to see how long was left only to discover that - after one hour and 25 minutes - there was still one hour and 50 minutes to go! And there is so - and I mean SO(!) - much dialogue. That's normally right up my street but not when it's all in Turkish. Could I really sit through all that time with my eyes glued to the screen in case I missed something crucial in the constant chatting? I was enjoying the story to some degree but it was giving me a headache, so off it went.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, August 12, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Demolition (2015) - 5/10

This film started in disappointment - by not even showing the car crash - and continued on in that vein. I mean come on, Final Destination has been delivering quality death scenes for fucking years now; at least show us a good MDK. Jake Gyllenhaal is generally in good films but he's let himself down here. The idea of the film - a man suffering with the loss of the young wife in a car crash - sounded great to me but it didn't deliver.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, August 10, 2021 / imdb / amazon

In a Better World (2010) - 8/10

This is about bullying and friendships and grief and despair and parenting and all the pressures of life, for teenagers and adults. It absolutely terrifies me because I've got two boys myself and it's scary how quickly they can drift from your circle of trust. One minute you're their hero and next thing they're telling their mates how much of a dickhead you are. Also, the main kid in this is the spit of Steven Gerrard; he even has that same serious frown on his face the entire time. It's pretty distracting how much they look alike actually.

Posted by Mike on Monday, August 9, 2021 / imdb / amazon

A Few Good Men (1992) - 8/10

Demi Moore was fit wasn't she? You know, with them tits and that. And in uniform too and being all stubborn. Oof. Yes, sir. Yes, sir, two bags full. Not that you get to see her tits in this but the subtle suggestion that they are there bursting through the bra beneath the blouse of her officer's uniform is enough. Oh, stop teasing me. Cruise - once again, in effect, playing the Maverick role - is superb too, although Jack Nicholson steals the show despite being in only three scenes.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, August 5, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Custody (2017) - 6/10

This is the uplifting story of divorce, custody battles, picking sides, anger, crying, fighting and distress for all involved. It's a real family film, if you know what I mean. With some very difficult to watch scenes, it certainly delivers on what is suggested throughout. The message here is fairly simple; be very fucking sure about who you have kids with. And even then, you may still be fucked.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, August 4, 2021 / imdb / amazon

You Don't Know Jack (2010) - 6/10

This is the story of Jack Kevorkian, a doctor who was very much in favour of euthanasia and even conducted many physician-assisted suicides. He risked his freedom to help people who wanted to die before their illnesses got any worse at a time when it was very much frowned on - and, in fact, a crime - in the US. That assisted suicide is legal in a handful of states now is largely down to his work. Not exactly a barrell of laughs but there you go.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, August 3, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Palm Springs (2020) - 6/10

This is basically Groundhog Day but based in the desert and with a much better looking cast. Cristin Milioti especially does it for me. She looks a bit like a bug; a very good-looking bug at that. Her eyes are much too big for her head and the same could be said for her mouth and teeth, which, to be honest, are the bits of the face I'm most interested in. Plus she's only small, which also does it for me. Knowing I can easily overpower a woman definitely tingles my bajingles.

Posted by Mike on Monday, August 2, 2021 / imdb / amazon

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