Funny film reviews written by you!

Tenet (2020) - 6/10

For starters, I adore Chris Nolan and would watch anything he creates. If he directed an eisode of TOWIE, I'd give it a go. However, I'm not sure where I stand with this. I loved the first hour or so but then, well, it went a bit West for me. And the last scene was just too much and went on too long, in much the same way that the last scene in Inception was too. I love that his films are clever but you can be too clever, I feel, and he might *just* be wanking himself off on screen a little more than I would like here.

Posted by Mike on Monday, January 18, 2021 / imdb / amazon

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020) - 7/10

This is about a group of bad motherfuckers who went to Chicago to smash shit up back in the day. Or did they? Where they just peacefully protesting the war? Or did the intend to incite violence? And what have the Black Panthers got to do with it? And how is Bing Bunny's carer Flop involved? Well you'll have to watch it to find out, won't you? I enjoyed this and so did my wife, which is a turn up. Of course she ran out of the room at the violent bits and cried at the end but it wouldn't be a Saturday night without a bit of violence followed by her tears, would it?

Posted by Mike on Friday, January 15, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Free To Play (2014) - 6/10

This is about how professional gamers can earn, literally, millions of pounds for playing computer games. I know! Crazy, right? It's a good job this wasn't about when I was a kid or I might not have ever tried at school. Me and my mates used to play Sensible Soccer for money but we only ever threw a quid in each and the winner got the pot. They were the days. And it was in my mum and dad's living room and not an arena, being livestreamed to thousands around the world. But still, the competition was fierce. I sincerely hope my kids don't turn into these sorts of nerds and instead concentrate on school.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, January 13, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Eye In The Sky (2015) - 7/10

We all have to do tasks in work that we'd rather not and we all have to take instruction from a dickhead boss from time to time (fuck you, Simon!). Well this is an extreme example of both of those things. It does a brilliant job of portraying the politics of murdering people via drone and also the despair suffered by the pilots who are ultimately given the final order to engage. It sounds like a cool job but, really, blowing motherfuckers up on the otherside of the world can be incredibly testing for your morals. Who would have thunk it?

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, January 12, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Wild Tales (2014) - 8/10

This is six short stories in which people find themselves in distress and shows what could happen in common situations if people took things to the nth degree. Most are very entertaining and amusing and you should absolutely watch it. It's not currently streaming on any of the common platforms so you'll have to rent it for a small fee. Well worth your hard earned, though.

Posted by Mike on Monday, January 4, 2021 / imdb / amazon

A Time To Kill (1996) - 6/10

I recently read Matthew McConaughey's autobiography and he talks about this film being his big break. I was sure I'd seen it years ago but couldn't remember much about it so decided to rewatch it. The cast is incredible and McConaughey's performance is great when you consider how little acting he had done at that point. Not only did this film launch his career in Hollywood but he also got to snuggle up to both Sandra Bullock and Ashley Judd in it. What a lucky fucker.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, December 22, 2020 / imdb / amazon

Hotel Mumbai (2018) - 6/10

Based on the terror attacks in Mumbai in 2008, this shows how viscious the terrorists were and how horrible rich people can be in a crisis. The most concerning thing about this film is that I can recall these events actually happening and it doesn't feel like 12 years ago. I am getting fucking old, mate.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, November 25, 2020 / imdb / amazon

Stronger (2017) - 5/10

This is about a guy that goes to Boston to try to impress an ex-girlfriend but instead ends up getting absolutely legless. It's about the struggle of disability and - just as tough, if not worse - the struggle of immediate fame. The moral of the story is that if you want your girlfriend back, you've got to lose some limbs. Girls love that shit, apparently.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, November 24, 2020 / imdb / amazon

Mommy (2014) - 4/10

Children are a product of their environment, whether that's the genes they were given or the way they were raised. And some parents, unfortunately, are angry bastards who, sadly, raise more angry bastards. I got an hour into this and got fed up of all the shouting so I turned it off.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, November 12, 2020 / imdb / amazon

The Devil All The Time (2020) - 8/10

This is grim, gritty and dark and displays the absolute worst that humanity has to offer. Therefore, I loved it. Being an absolute bastard means I thoroughly enjoy seeing people suffer, even if it is all make believe. I get a hard on for the suffering of real people around the world - and, let's be honest, it's a shitty world - and it makes me feel great about my own life. So if you're like me, get on it.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, September 29, 2020 / imdb / amazon

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