Funny film reviews written by you!

The Unforgivable (2021) - 6/10

This is Sandra Bullock's latest offering, featuring her ever-more plastic face. Mad how she looks now because she was arguably the fittest bird alive when Demolition Man came out. I was only 10 at the time but fucking hell, the things I dreamed about doing to her back then... My mother would have been disgusted. Anyway, I thought this was decent. Miserable like, but as you know, that's my jam.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, January 27, 2022 / imdb / amazon

The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021) - 3/10

Might as well have been in fucking Chinese, this. Not to mention it's in black and white and 4:3 ratio. So it's a no from me. Which is shame because the cast is absolutely superb.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, January 26, 2022 / imdb / amazon

The Banker (2020) - 6/10

This is a fictionalised version of a true story based on black men who had to fight racism back in the day in order to prosper. It's one we've heard before, I know, but it's a story worth telling. Good on these fellas for not towing the line and having the ambition to succeed in the way they did. Men like these are just as important as the likes of MLK in the twisted path of history from slavery to the world we live in today.

Posted by Mike on Monday, January 24, 2022 / imdb / amazon

Finch (2021) - 6/10

I've wondered for years how long until someone can make a Real Doll that has enough AI inbuilt in to it so that it can realistically satisfy all my sexual desires. When that day arrives, and I'm sure it will, I will be emptying the kids savings account to buy myself one. Divorce from my now useless wife will surely follow and me and my latex girlfriend will live happily ever after. This film is sort of like that but with less mess. The general intelligence of the robot must be taken with a monstrous pinch of salt, but the rest, I suppose, seems plausibile. A story we've all heard a million times over though.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, January 20, 2022 / imdb / amazon

The Rescue (2021) - 8/10

This one of those true stories that had it been made as a fictional film, you'd claim it was too unrealistic. How these guys managed to get these boys out of a flooded cave, at such depths, is truly remarkable. They knew what they were doing was incredibly dangerous, not just for the kids involved but also for themselves. And yet, they did it anyway. None of them should ever have to buy a pint ever again. True heroes.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, January 19, 2022 / imdb / amazon

Swan Song (2021) - 7/10

This is very Black Mirror and I fucking love Black Mirror. I also love misery and this has plenty of that. It's a very realistic near-future Sci-Fi story about how far a man would go to protect his family. Without spoiling it too much, it's a process I'd like to go through myself because I'm pretty sure me and other individual involved would get on great.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, January 18, 2022 / imdb / amazon

Wrath Of Man (2021) - 6/10

This was worth a watch - let's be honest, who doesn't love a heist film? - but I was a little disappointed, mainly because it didn't contain any of the usual Guy Ritchie humour, which, for me, is his USP. And because of that it's just another of these films, of which there have been many. And, to be honest, it's not even as good as some of the more recent ones, ie Den of Thieves and The Town.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, December 21, 2021 / imdb / amazon

The Work (2017) - 5/10

This is a documentary about a prison program in which a bunch of tatoo-laden, hard-hitting, gang-sign-throwing motherfuckers all sit around together having deeper conversations than they do in Dawson's Creek. I'm a man so talking about my feelings is nearly as awkward as another man talking to me about his feelings, so this is a fucking awkward watch. Espeically all the crying and hugging and shit. I mean it looks like it helps but it also looks like, to me, that there's some acting going on.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, December 16, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Labyrinth of Lies (2014) - 6/10

I learned a lot watching this; like how great the ignorance - or even denial - was Germans initially had about the crimes that had been committed during the second world war. In the years following the end of the war, many Germans didn't know about the Holocaust, about Auschwitz or about the number of people who the Nazis had killed. It took amazing work of people to document it before it generally became accepted, and for the worst war criminals to be prosecuted. I also learned that the German word for poison is "gift", which is a bit unfortunate.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, December 15, 2021 / imdb / amazon

Who Am I (2014) - 6/10

I wanted to watch this because it's by the creators of Netflix series DARK, which, if you haven't seen it, is absolutely fucking superb. They even share some of the same actors. This film is alright but the hacker thing has been done over and over now. The soundtrack is great though. But seriously, watch DARK. You won't regret it.

Posted by Mike on Friday, December 10, 2021 / imdb / amazon

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