Funny film reviews written by you!

A Quiet Place: Day One (2024) - 5/10

Never known a cat to play such a major part before. And I fucking hate cats. Never expected it to be as good as the others once I found out that a whole new set of people were behind it, and I was right. The best part about A Quiet Place 2 was the first 20 minutes when the aliens land, so this should have just been that but five times over from five different cities in the world. That would have been a much better watch. Imagine 20 minutes of them fucking people up in as they partied in the Tokyo nightlife followed by 20 minutes of them fucking people up as they eat lunch in London followed by 20 minutes of them jumping from gondola to gondola fucking people up in Venice. No story arc, no heroes, no character development and certainly no fucking love story. Sign me the fuck up to that.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, July 17, 2024 / imdb / amazon

The Holdovers (2023) - 4/10

This is exactly what I expected it to be which, generally, isn't a bad thing, but my expectations were low, which almost certainly is. I do like Paul Giamatti but his presence usually means it's a certain type of film. And that type of film isn't for me, although others would disagree. So yeah, if you like him and his films then crack on. If you don't then maybe just lash Aliens on again instead.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, June 19, 2024 / imdb / amazon

Facing Monsters (2021) - 5/10

This is very slow for the most part and only really gets interesting towards the end. I also feel they could have made it much more interesting by doing a bit more around the accident itself. The accident sort of just happens and we move on quickly from it. A shame.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, June 12, 2024 / imdb / amazon

Foxtrot (2017) - 6/10

The best thing about this film is the performance of the actor who plays the father. It's incredible. The film itself is interesting enough but a bit mad in the way that some foreign films can be. I was also pretty disappointed with the ending, so whilst it gains a point due to the father's performance, it loses one because of that.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, June 11, 2024 / imdb / amazon

All of Us Strangers (2023) - 4/10

I really like Paul Mescal and he's great in this too. I had no idea what to expect and, to be fair, I'm just as unsure as to what went on even after seeing it, hence the low score. It's a crazy film but one which I'm pretty sure I'll watch again at some point.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, June 5, 2024 / imdb / amazon

Close (2022) - 6/10

This is about the responsibility of friendship. About love and tenderness. And guilt. It's about peer pressure and coming of age. It's about how others see you and about how you see yourself. It's about parenting and tragedy and how it is always just around the corner. And I'm guessing that'll sound pretty gay to most of you, so maybe give it a miss. I liked it, for the most part, but couldn't recommend it too heartily to most of my friends or I'd be ridiculed, which is a convenient coincidence to the issues raised in it.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, May 23, 2024 / imdb / amazon

The Beasts (2022) - 6/10

The main character is this film stands out for two reasons. The first is that he's the farmer who Colonel Hans Lander terrorises in the opening scene to Inglorious Basterds, which, if you ask anyone with even a dash of movie knowledge will tell you is one of the greatest scenes in cinema history. The second special thing about him - and I use special in a very roundabout away - is that he looks a lot like my older brother. Sort of like the offspring of a silverback and a human. Let's be honest, who really knows what Jane Goodall got up to in the mountains of Tanzania? The 60s were a wild time for sexual, cultural and scientific expermentation? Who's to say she didn't get a chimpanzee high on LSD and let it have her way with her? Not me for sure. Although I'm definitely not saying for sure that it happened either, just in case her lawyers are reading this. But yeah, worth a watch. The film I mean; not human/ape mating videos, although you can find anything on the Internet these days.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, May 16, 2024 / imdb / amazon

Sound of Freedom (2023) - 5/10

This could be the latest in a long line of based-on-a-true-story type films that should, really, just be called How Boss Are Americans Though? God knows what number we'd be up to by now but there would be even more of these than there is in the Too Fast Too Furious franchise.

Posted by Mike on Tuesday, May 14, 2024 / imdb / amazon

Late Night with the Devil (2023) - 6/10

I enjoyed this for the most part. It's reminded me of Ghost Watch from back when I was a kid. That, like this, got stupid at the end but that, unlike this, was delivered to the brain of a 10 year old who thought it was real. And therefore, that, unlike this, absolutely fucking terrified me. Still, it's pretty well done and is worth a watch.

Posted by Mike on Thursday, May 9, 2024 / imdb / amazon

Anatomy of a Fall (2023) - 6/10

I like mad foreign films and this is one of them. It's not particuarly mad but it definitely is foreign. Although there's plenty of English spoken too. So maybe not too mad and not too foreign. So actually, I'm talking absolute gubbins, mate. Anyway, I enjoyed it. I won't say too much about the story itself but basically some fella falls off a balcony and they have to determine if he fell, jumped or was pushed. A good bit of it is based inside the courtroom, so if that ain't your jam, then maybe don't bother.

Posted by Mike on Wednesday, May 8, 2024 / imdb / amazon

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