Funny film reviews written by you!

beast1234 has written a total of 26 reviews with an average rating of 6. beast1234 particularly liked Taken (2008), The Terminator (1984) and The Matrix (1999).

We are ordering by .

96 Minutes (2011) - 1/10

What a load of toss, I wouldn't wipe my arse with this movie, bad acting, crap production, everyline must have contained 80% swearing, if I was you I'd leave well alone.

Posted by beast1234 on Monday, September 24, 2012 / imdb / amazon

The Cabin In The Woods (2011) - 6/10

This was an interesting take on Doomsday, Armaggedon, the End of Days, whatever the hell you want to call it, good action from start to finish, the ending is packed with creatures of all shapes and sizes, decent storyline and a cameo from Sigourney Weaver. Good effort IMO..

Posted by beast1234 on Monday, September 24, 2012 / imdb / amazon

Avengers Assemble (2012) - 8/10

Absolutely amazing, I thoroughly enjoyed this puppy, the CGI was second to none, Thor was suitably dim, Iron Man pulled out some excellent one liners, HULK smashed to the max, all in all a superb film, well done Marvel.

Posted by beast1234 on Monday, September 24, 2012 / imdb / amazon

[Rec] 3 Genesis (2012) - 3/10

Agreed, was a waste of 1hr 20mins of my life, best bit was the titles at the end.........

Posted by beast1234 on Friday, September 14, 2012 / imdb / amazon

American Pie: Reunion (2012) - 7/10

Here it is, the latest installment of the American Pie movies, I wasn't expecting too much from this movie, but to be honest I was pleasantly surprised, they really did pull it together, some superb cringe worthy moments and some all out lolling. If you liked the other Pie movies then this is deffo worth a watch.

Posted by beast1234 on Friday, September 14, 2012 / imdb / amazon

The Collector (2009) - 3/10

What a load of shite this movie is, some bloke, who's the usual psychopathic, indestructable killer, likes to hide in your house, kill your family then keep you in a box before moving onto the next house and performing the same routine, no matter how many times you try to kill the f***er he always gets up again, I wouldn't bother even reading this review on this movie.

Posted by beast1234 on Monday, January 10, 2011 / imdb / amazon

Splice (2009) - 6/10

Agreed, it is a bit shite, not a bad story to start with but within 20 mins it was obvious how it was going to end, quite humourous that both the bloke and woman get shagged by the same creature though, gotta have a couple of points for that.!!!

Posted by beast1234 on Monday, January 10, 2011 / imdb / amazon

Nine (2010) - 2/10

Musical type movie, complete shite, I'd sooner sticks pins in my eyes than watch this again, in fact I fell asleep and woke up just before the end titles....blessing.

Posted by beast1234 on Wednesday, August 18, 2010 / imdb / amazon

How To Train Your Dragon (2010) - 9/10

Went to watch this yesterday with my daughter and her friend, watched the 3D version and I must say it was amazing, excellent storyline, brilliant animation detail and stunning 3D effects, I thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend you go see it, even if you don't have kids.

Posted by beast1234 on Saturday, May 8, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Coraline (2009) - 7/10

I'd say this is worth a watch, it's well put together, an excellent undertone of 'the grass is not always greener', all kids should watch this and take note, hahaha.

Posted by beast1234 on Tuesday, March 23, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Taken (2008) - 10/10

Absolutely amazing movie, this is everything you could ask for in an action/thriller, you seriously would not want to fuck with this man or his family.....ever. Want to know why, watch the movie.

Posted by beast1234 on Tuesday, March 23, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Star Trek (2009) - 9/10

To be honest, I really enjoyed this movie, brilliant special effects, reasonable acting from a younger cast, the inevitable appearance of Leonard Nimoy, all in all a good quality Trekky movie that stand up against and even exceeds the rest.

Posted by beast1234 on Tuesday, March 23, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Saving Private Ryan (1998) - 9/10

This has got to be one of the best war based films I've seen, the acting is excellent, the graphical nature of some of the scenes is almost too real it's uncomfortable, definately needs to be watched.

Posted by beast1234 on Tuesday, March 23, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Dorian Gray (2009) - 8/10

I thought this was very well done, excellent storyline, good acting, all in all definately worth a watching.

Posted by beast1234 on Monday, March 22, 2010 / imdb / amazon

The Hurt Locker (2008) - 2/10

Shite......

Posted by beast1234 on Saturday, March 13, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Up (2009) - 7/10

Not bad really, as far as current animation movies go, some funny one liners and the talking dog is classic, (I often wonder what my dog is thinking, now I know), again for the older person probably not the most enthralling Disney/Pixar movie but the kids will love it.

Posted by beast1234 on Saturday, March 13, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Halo Legends (2010) - 4/10

Well, I never really played the video game, but as a movie this sucks, I wasted 2hrs of my life watching this movie, after 90 mins it improved slightly but the special effects are shite, the storyline is shite, basically it's shite......

Posted by beast1234 on Saturday, March 13, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Alice In Wonderland (2010) - 8/10

To be fair it depends what you want from this movie, yes, the special effects are great, the storyline is a bit erratic, but if your a 7 year old child like my daughter who watched it with me it was awesome, she didn't stop talking about it for days.

Posted by beast1234 on Thursday, March 11, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Gremlins (1984) - 8/10

Man I loved this film as a kid, I thought it was truly awesome, there's something just not right about a cute furry animal turning into a crazed flesh eating beastie......lol, love it.

Posted by beast1234 on Friday, March 5, 2010 / imdb / amazon

Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977) - 9/10

I remember watching this at the movies when it was released, awesome sci-fi movie, one of the best ever, and again pre-CGI so all the better.

Posted by beast1234 on Friday, March 5, 2010 / imdb / amazon

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