The Northman (2022) - 3/10
I thought this was supposed to be good? It only lasted 20 minutes before I axed it, and what a bonkers 20 minutes it was. I'm almost certain that it would have made more sense had I been off my tits on mushrooms. But, having said that, had I been on mushrooms I'd probably have been bollocko, running barefoot through the woods trying to interpret the mating calls of owls in order to locate the the source of nature, or something. So yeah, jib.