One Battle After Another (2025) - 5/10
War has never before been so horny. Immediately at the start of this, you're wondering, "What's going on here exactly?" and "Why does that man have an erection?" I see what they were trying to do, but really? I mean, I've never used a firearm in the bedroom but, you know? The film follows the same pattern as most of my Tinder dates; it starts off with sexual tension and threats, continues on with confusion and tears and then ends with someone passed out having unspeakable things done to them by people in masks. It's a single dad raising his daughter by himself using obsolete Bond gadgets whilst artillery is dropped all around him. It's Paul Thomas Anderson's attempt at Pulp Fiction or The Departed and despite using a bazooka, he misses the target. There's not enough time invested making you care about the characters and too many questions left unanswered. Christmas Adventurers?! Say what now? You may like it, but I left disappointed.